To A Dear Friend

Dear,

I've been there. When we reached certain ages, we feel afraid to be alone. Dengan relationship yang asyik tak menjadi. Confident level jadi sangat rendah. Macam-macam. Yes, Mar pernah rasa.

It was about 2 years ago. 2007. Mar ada masalah dengan Mr N. I can't accept he want to end the relationship. Padahal dia bukanlah baik sangat pun yang Mar nak kecewa sangat kan. But I still felt frustrated at that time just because I'll became alone again. Itulah fasa di mana I'm so afraid to end up alone in this world.

Sampai satu tahap, Mar bagitahu pada diri sendiri bahawa Mar tak perlukan lelaki dalam hidup. I can have my own life without a man. Mar boleh berdikari. Mar ada Abah dan Mak yang akan sentiasa bersama Mar. Mar tak perlukan orang lain lagi dalam hidup ni. That's how I move on. Tak nak fikir hal remeh-temeh lagi. I managed to handle everything. My life back to normal when I just accept what I have in life. Masa tu dah tak nak fikir dah kahwin ke tak. Most important is I have my own creation life. Remember, masa tu kan Mar tengah gila buat kek, brownies, muffin, cookies. Macam-macam la. Serius macam Izzie Stevens dalam Grey's Anatomy. That's also how I move on. Do what I like most. Divert all the sadness towards baking. Padahal bukannya pandai pun. Semua resepi tengok kat internet. Belajar kat situ jer. Sampaikan officemate pakat-pakat asyik order sebab sedap sangat. I'm happy. At least I felt appreaciated in a different way.

Dalam keadaan dah boleh terima kehidupan yang Mar create sendiri dan bersedia untuk hidup sendiri tanpa lelaki, suddenly someone appeared in my life. That was suddenly Mr Ahzahafiz knocked my heart. Padahal dah 2 tahun kerja satu office. Workstation sebelah-sebelah pulak tu. Hari-hari gaduh. Hari-hari bertekak. Siap kadang-kadang tak bertegur-sapa. Bertepuk-tampar. Bergelak-ketawa. Macam-macamlah. Officemate kan. Entah macam mana one day dia kata dia ada hati pada Mar. Can you imagine that? Someone you did not expect at all. Dan entah macam mana jugak suddenly we end up together. Suddenly jugak rombongan merisik sampai kat rumah. Akhirnya tahu-tahu Mar dah jadi someone's wife. It all happened so fast. Mar langsung tak terfikir pun akan jadi sebegitu pantas.

So dear, just enjoy what you have now. Don't think too much of what will happen next. You wouldn't know what will happen or whom you will meet later in your life. Do whatever you want when you still have time. In between maybe you will meet someone special. I'll pray for you.

Dear,
The most important thing is, be patient and don't stop praying.


Regards,
Mar.